There are certain people we all have in our lives that mean the world to us. We’re willing to go above and beyond for them. There’s a bond that feels unbreakable through the highest of highs, and the lowest of lows.

But sometimes, that person can hurt you, lie to you, take advantage of you, tease you, not appreciate you, and more. And when this happens, you feel like your heart is sinking into your gut, all tubes tied, unable to breath, and stuck (whether it’s physically or emotionally, or both). You get so shocked the first time … The second time, the third, and so on. You don’t want to believe that they’re treating you this way. You lie to yourself saying it’s the last time, they’re going to change. Reality check, they won’t. Over and over again, you know that you need to let go and move on but something inside of you keeps you tied down. 

They have those little moments of sweetness that gives you that tiny bit of reassurance that you force yourself to settle for. When you know inside that you deserve better. Much, much, much better. You deserve someone that will love and praise you everyday knowing that they’re lucky have you. Someone that will return the love, care, honesty, loyalty and much more that you want to give someone. 

The hardest part about letting go, is letting go of all the memories. It’s hard to forget about someone who is such a big part of your past. Forgetting about all the cute little things they did, the songs you shared, the places you’ve been, the new experienced you two shared, and the list can go on forever depending on the relationship. Trying your hardest to let go is hard enough without all the constant reminders. 

Truth is, if you really wanted to let go, you would. If you keep going back, you’re not ready or willing to let go. It may also be because you’re scared of what might happen, what your future will bring you - But you can’t keep holding on because of fear. One of the greatest feelings in the world is living your life for yourself, making your own happiness, knowing your own self worth, and loving yourself completely. As cliche as this might sound, once you’re able to love yourself, you will be able to give yourself to someone else completely in confidence and be able to get the same back.

I deserve the best, I know I do. I spent so much time on you, that I forgot all about myself. I put your happiness in front of mine. Doing anything and everything just to see a smile on your face, but yet, it still wasn’t enough. It was never enough. I was never good enough for you, and you knew it from the start. You just wanted to keep me around for your own selfish happiness when it was good on your time. I just hope that you realize what you’re losing, because it’s too late now. 

It’s my time now. To find myself again, to leave you behind, to do my own thing. I don’t need you anymore, because I can make my own happiness like I always have before. 

Tired of stressing, and there’s nothing else that I can distract myself with. I need to put my brain to work and stay focused. In two weeks my life will be school all morning to afternoon, then work all night. Yep, sounds good to me!

But I can see right through you. I know what you’re thinking, and what you really want.

It’s either they’re fronting about it, like “Omg why are you talking about this stuff, ew that’s so gross stop.” When really, they’re the freaks who like to get down. Or they really are that innocent and don’t like talking about it because they’ve never experienced it before. 

Lol

I have a dirty mind, and can relate pretty much anything to sex. I have a very vivid imagination too, oh boy.